3 Tips On Dealing With Difficult People ...

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no matter who you are, where you live, or how perfect you think you or your life is... you know a soul sucker. they're those people in your life that you always leave feeling drained. it could be a work colleague, a family member or even a "friend" (you know the one i'm talking about). most times you have the absolute luxury of building healthy boundaries for yourself by limiting your time with these types of people, but sometimes these individuals are in your life for the long haul. 

not long ago, these forces in my life would stress me out beyond belief! not sleeping nights in preparation of seeing them the next day. replaying scenarios that happened while i was with them last over & over & over in my head. or even sometimes planning some sort of revenge in the form of a perfectly executed speech, which i should obviously take the time right now to perfect in case i bump into them at the grocery store. my interactions with these soul suckers would plague me! i couldn't shake the feelings i got while being around them. i couldn't gather my emotions enough to meaningfully assert myself in their presence. & i couldn't stop obsessing over it!

so i changed my strategy!

here are my 3 mindful tips on dealing with difficult people..

1. "confidence is silent. insecurities are loud." {unknown}

these six words helped a lot. it helped me cultivate compassion! when someone is throwing out inauthentic energy, it's easy to feel the inconsistency if you're willing to switch your focus. when someone says something about themselves, or their lives, or others around them, be willing to understand WHY they felt the need to say it as opposed to getting stuck on WHAT they said. in my mind, i've started seeing people in two layers- firstly, their truth. their centre. i literally visualize it as a strong foundation within them that glows warm, welcoming light! secondly, i see their "ego". the ugly, messy accumulation of barriers that low self esteem attracts. it's the energy standing in the way of everyone seeing their authenticity. it casts a shadow on their light. by separating the two, i'm able to understand that their negative actions & words are not a representation of their truth but more so only a mirage of doubts that have manifested themselves as a false representation of who they are. try hard to see peoples truths & have compassion for their facade. we all struggle with this duality, so once you've become sensitized to it- you'll see it in yourself as well & be able to make meaningful changes to let your truth shine out as bright as possible!

2. go against your instinct & choose celebrate them.

i've worked hard in being able to recognize & separate ones truth from ones ego (my own included). i then started an exercise to flex my truth muscles a little more often. at first, it feels weird & kind of life self sabotage! but once you've moved into the realm of changing the habits of your mind, it feels good. when someone projects their insecurities onto you with their negative energy, celebrate them! when someone says something mean & hurtful, celebrate them! when someone does something vindictive & petty, celebrate them! so i know you're all going... HUH!? WHAT THE...!? but hear me out. when we celebrate people, they feel good. when they feel good, they act from their truth. when they act from their truth, their light shines brighter & stays out longer to play. they are easier to be around. your celebratory energy will attract other like energy. this habit will empower you! it is as much of a benefit to you & celebrating the power of your own light, as it is for them! wether it's saying something nice, extending a hopeful thought about their well being out into the universe or trying to make a meaningful connection with them- try it. you'll see things start to change from your own truth, regardless if their actions change at all!

3. forgive. forgive. forgive.

i bet you think i'm going to say "FORGIVE THEM." you're wrong! what i mean is- forgive yourself! this is the biggest ongoing lesson of my life thus far. if you had the intention of seeing their truth but your ego clouded it, forgive yourself. if you wanted to take someone else's negative energy & replace it with a positive, celebratory light but it didn't happen that way, forgive yourself. if you meant to forgive yourself but couldn't find it within to go through with it, forgive yourself again. it is never the action itself that is the problem. it's your thoughts & energy ABOUT the action that dictate wether it's a win for your truth, or a win for your ego. let your truth start to win! let it come out and say "that's okay! we'll try again next time!" to those times your ego tried to make your good intentions veer. this exercise will save you! it'll save you from low self esteem building up. it'll save you from that low self esteem feeding your ego. it'll save you from encouraging your ego to race other peoples egos for a win, but in reality a huge loss. & in turn, it will keep your truth at the forefront of your interactions, steering you & those around you closer to the light. closer to everyone's truth & more personal stability in the presence of a soul sucker.

and if you need a little help getting your zen on, find my suggestions here!

shine bright everyone!

mama in bloom// xo

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